Month: July 2013

Dudley Dudsborough was a collector of artifacts. He was especially fascinated by all things recherché. He had an affinity for rare and uncommon things and took to them much as pandas take to bamboo shoots, […]

Lonely as the loneliest cloud, Steve was in the process of downing his first pint of the evening. Thick as a ceramic brick and obtuse as two of the choicest short planks, Steve was more […]

As suffering artists went, Dimbleby suffered more bolts of anguish and spurts of pain than your average struggling writer cursed with more ambition than good sense. His writer’s block was now bigger than the Hoover […]

William, having once again reached the end of his goldfish bowl existence, turned around and carried on blowing bubbles of apathy, and gawping nonchalant gawps. Blithe and insouciant, bored and blasé, William had never once […]

Lucy was getting antsy and edgy. She believed she was special. She believed she had special powers. She informed her boyfriend, Nester, about this. Nester stared at her gobsmacked, wondering, not for the first time, […]

Helpful Helen couldn’t help it; she loved to lend people a helping hand. Ever since she was ushered past the threshold of adolescence and into the wide-open meadows of adulthood she saw rainbow skies and […]

Aimsley Amis had lost his polished and speckled marbles at the age of 40 and couldn’t be persuaded to find them. At an age when most men grow a goatee, have an affair with a […]

Mr. Englebert the English teacher made it a point to inform his 8th grade pupils everyday that the ear-wax they kept fiddling with was just more of the shit they had for brains. The kids […]

Poor Virginia was so fat and lumbered with so many layers of lard that nasty people called her a cow. She was round and rotund. Obesity stalked her like some perverse paparazzi. Corpulence haunted her […]

This, female Tisiphone, who went by the seraphic name of Angel Anna, liked to have hen-pecked Henry firmly under her big claw – squashed and gasping for air. Nothing he did was right enough for […]

Johan Johansson was your average Scandinavian – straight out of Hitler’s masturbatory bedside catalogue of mythical Aryans, with his polar-bear-peroxide-blond hair and his cerulean-blue-whale eyes. Unfortunately, Johan was depressed – mainly because he had oodles […]

Rambunctious Ramu had climbed up the ladder of juvenile delinquency and, ensconced comfortably on the top rung, had been pelting people with pellets of peevish outbursts. The silver spoon he was born with was used […]

  Mr. Kookarut had been informed by all and sundry that he had no heart and that his personality was as rugged as a Scandinavian backpacker’s sleeping bag and just as misshapen. He would harrumph […]